Self Improvement Strategies To Make Life Flow A Little Easier. 

(Adapted from Julie's YouTube video)

There are certain things that most of us do regularly that really hold us back in life or that really make us quite uncomfortable, but we keep doing them anyway. In today's blog post, we'll talk about a few of these and some strategies for helping you let go of these unhelpful ways of being.

It is no coincidence that I'm thinking about letting go of things in October. Autumn reminds us that change is simply a part of life. As humans, most of us fight really hard against change. We do this even when we aren't happy and things aren't working well. We find it hard to embrace change and let go. Autumn reminds us that change is a part of the natural cycle of being. So I think it's a perfect time to regularly practice The Art of Letting Go. In this post we'll talk about three ways of being that would be really smart to let go of and how to do this. 

Let Go of the Desire to Always Be Right

The first one almost everyone struggles with–the desire to always be right. Why is it so hard to simply sit back and listen? How much energy do you spend asserting how correct you are?  This is something that I am still very much working on myself. Here are 3 tips that I am finding helpful when trying to release the desire to always be right.

1. This is the hard part, but when you notice yourself actively asserting how you are the one that is correct, try to stop for a moment and be curious. To do this you have to be able to step back and pay attention to how you are interacting in the conversation. First and foremost, this means slowing down. Breathing. Making an intention to carefully listen, even if you don’t agree. 

2. Consider how important it truly is for you to be right this time. Maybe you could practice taking a deep breath or two and simply letting it be this time. 

3. Recognize that you cannot change the opinions of others. Consider if in this particular circumstance, not trying to be “right” could be being “kind”. It feels good to be kind, probably even better than being right. So lean into that feeling instead.

Let Go of the Expectations of Others

Most people struggle with letting go of the expectations of others as well.  This is a hard one. Sometimes we don’t even realize we are doing this. Yet, it is important to remind yourself that this is YOUR life. There are certainly times that the expectations of others align with your own personal happiness and growth, and when they do, you can set the world on fire.  Yet sometimes, they just don’t line up and you need to let go of those expectations. They only serve to weaken and diminish your ability to be happy and to help others find happiness as well.

Three Way to Help Release Expectations of Others

1. State your own desires aloud to yourself. Hearing you say the words to yourself does make a difference. It more solidly cements your thoughts - as an affirmation to yourself.

2. Share what you most want with others. Quite often people are simply unaware of your desires and your needs. Sharing this with them, not only affirms your needs to yourself, but may very well make them blatantly aware of what is important to you. It is unreasonable to expect others to figure this out on their own. 

3. Choose to value and be kind to yourself. I cannot overemphasize this. You have to practice loving yourself, because likely, it doesn’t come naturally. What you want matters. What makes you happy matters. You what you want and need, while at the same time being supportive of others. In fact, it will make your personal impact so much more loving and powerful if you are loving yourself at the same time. This is one of those rules of the universe. If this is something you struggle with, my journal Worthy: A Radical Self Love Journal may be helpful to you. 

Let Go of the Need to Make a Decision Now

For this last suggestion, I’ll share with you four questions that it may be helpful to get in the habit of asking yourself. 

1. Do you need to decide now? Quite often, the answer to this question is going to be no, we just might not be comfortable waiting. It is a good idea to practice waiting, when the answer to this question is "no", even if you know the answer. Try breathing into the discomfort of not knowing what is next. Your breath is a powerful tool for helping you sit in discomfort, whether it is mental discomfort or physical discomfort. I’ve certainly used it for both and my breath has got me through some really tough times. 

2. Do you need to choose?  Perhaps you can have both. Sometimes we forget to look for this option. Set aside time for brainstorming or exploring in your journal how you could have it all.

3. Do you have to make a decision? Sometimes you don’t need to make a decision at all. Sometimes it is okay just to let things ride. 

4. Do you feel the need to make a decision immediately simply to please others? If that is the case, intentionally shift the power back into your court. Pick a time in the future to make a decision.